if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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