found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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