I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
