Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
