i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize