when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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