Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
