I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Who died my cat blue again?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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