When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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