I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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