i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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