Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
