Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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