I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Mom said you looked used
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
