i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
