i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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