Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
this boner is exhausting
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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