i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
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