Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Randomize
