remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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