So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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