Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
