Jerry, you need to find god
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
