Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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