he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
