Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Randomize
