so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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