she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize