i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
