i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
