Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
only you would photoshop your dick
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
