That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
