I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
