return my video game
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
