So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Did you just see the Batmobile???
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Randomize
