shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
