I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Randomize
