at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
