We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Randomize
