we have officially lost it.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
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