If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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