What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
