dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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