All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
