is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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