mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
