i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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