i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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