I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
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