I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
