He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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