I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
We are all done wearing pants today
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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