You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
