I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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