I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
