Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
