Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
