I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
There are leaves in my underwear?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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