ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
