I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize