I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
